Guide to Dildos

Guide to Dildos

For many people, dildos are the first type of sex toy they encounter. But what, exactly, are dildos and why are they so popular? Let’s find out.

Dildos are commonly penis-shaped objects used for penetrative sex in order to achieve orgasm. Originally, they were straight and hard. Now, dildos come in all kinds of shapes, textures and sizes so users can explore sensations not available to them with a classic shape.

In this guide we will cover what dildos are, why to get one, what types to buy, what materials dildos are made of, and how to use them safely and clean them. At the end of this article, there are expert tips and tricks to take home to enjoy solo or with a partner!

Curious to know more about dildos and insertables? Check out the video below or keep reading for more information!

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Table of Contents

• What is a Dildo?

• Why You Need a Dildo!

• Types of Dildos

• Materials

• Buyer’s Guide to Dildos

• Safey & Cleaning

• Expert Tips & Advice

What is a Dildo?

A little background on the origin of dildos…
Dildos are one of the first sex toys people buy or experiment with and go way back to the Stone Age, over 2.5 million years ago. Cultures all over the world have used them for centuries for masturbation. Often, a phallus (penis) was made out of different materials such as metal, carved wood, stone, or bone and, in some cases, even bread. These phalluses were either used as decorative fertility art or for personal pleasure. A brief history on dildos can be found here.

In the last few centuries, dildos have been used for medical reasons (for therapeutic pelvic massage), spiritual reasons (to balance the Yin and Yang energy) and for pleasure. In the 1960’s, dildos were largely made out of rubber, but by 1970, they had upgraded to silicone, which today is one of the most popular and safest choices.

Now, their use is only limited by creativity. For most people, dildos are a toy that simulates sexual penetration. However, the psychology behind having a phallic object to play with is part of the erotic appeal.

Dildos can be used for vaginal penetration, oral penetration (as a gag or for foreplay), anal play, as a fetish placed on the body or as something massaged against sensitive erotic zones. For some, having a very large dildo rubbed against their holes (vaginal or anal) is enough to get them off, even if they never penetrate. For others, wearing a strap-on dildo makes them feel more powerful and excite them or their partner.

They can also be used to access the P-spot (prostate) in men or G-spot in women. Generally, dildos are safe to use as long as the material they are made out of is body-safe. However, when penetrating anally it’s best to have a flanged base (meaning that the base of the dildo is wide so it doesn’t completely enter the sphincter and get sucked in).

There are different kinds of dildos (which is explained below), but people will often call them dongs, cocks, rods, rams, double enders (for a double ended dildo), or strap-ons (for dildos worn by one partner during non-penile intercourse).

A dildo is traditionally defined as a sex toy, phallic in appearance, that can be used for one’s individual purpose (masturbation) or for partners (sexual intercourse). You’ve seen plenty of dildos while browsing our shop and may think they’re all pretty much the same. They look like cocks and are made of some simple material so that it can be inserted and used without chaffing or irritation. Actually, there’s more to a dildo than you can imagine. When properly understood, a dildo can bring about much sexual pleasure for men and women alike.

Why You Need a Dildo!

Dildos are great for penetrative orgasms and getting to live out fantasies.

The way people use them differs by preference. Some people prefer rough, thrusting motions. Others want to gently massage themselves internally. Many advanced users want to open themselves up through stretching by using larger and larger dildos.

During role-play or switching up power dynamics, couples can enjoy the shift in power and gender roles assumed when adding a dildo. Those who have fantasies of double penetration can have their partner use a dildo on them during sex. For men who want to experience anal, their partner can wear a strap-on and peg them (insert a strap on into their anus). Many women find that pegging is very empowering, and some men enjoy not only the prostate massage but the arousing feeling of vulnerability associated with receiving.

For female couples, strap-ons offer a fun way to have penetrative sex while keeping their hands free. For some who want to try anal and aren’t comfortable with the size of their partner’s member (it may be too big for beginners), using a smaller dildo during sex can enable them to still enjoy penetration.

A few ways dildos can be used:

• Masturbation or intimate play where the dildo can penetrate, mouth, pussy, or ass

• To keep sex going when one partner’s penis is flaccid or if one partner is experiencing ED (erectile dysfunction)

• To enhance you and your partner’s sex life (by introducing another cock without the complications of adding another person)

• As a symbol of power used to intimidate (such as when wearing a very large strap on before pegging a sub)

• Rough thrusting from a tireless cock via a Fucking Machine

• As a means to feeling whole (for those who are in transition and wear packers)

• As decorative glass art (with beautiful glass dildo designs as unique as you are)

Types of Dildos

Something for Everyone

Classic Dildos For a first time buyer, this is a great place to start. There’s a wide variety of options in both size and material. Try starting with a low-budget rubber dildo, or go for a time-tested favorite and choose silicone. There’s also an exciting variety of dildos that are curved, textured with ridges, and come in all different lengths and girths.

Dildos with a Suction Cup Base These enable the user to have the feeling of getting fucked and having hands free to play with themselves. Press the dildo onto any flat surface so the suction cup seals, and ride it to a climax.

More Than Just A Cock

Glass & Steel Dildos Non-porous, body safe and easy to clean, these have the added benefit of being used in temperature play. Heat them up or cool them down for added sensation!

Vibrating Dildos Generally made of silicone, these dildos have an extra stimulating feature of being able to vibrate at different intensities. A few of them even thrust, thump, or rotate so that users feel like they’re really being fucked.

Vibrating Dildo Accessories: While many are USB rechargeable, some come with remotes that require batteries so be sure to order them, too.

For When Size Matters

Huge Dildos For those who get excited by girth and length and want to challenge themselves. When using them, make sure to take your time and use lots of lube!

Inflatable Dildos These are great for stretching limits; place them inside of the anus or vagina and inflate until a desired pressure and internal fullness is reached.

Fun With Partners

Double Ended Dildos allows partners to slide a long dildo in and out of their holes at the same time, sharing the feeling of being connected to the same toy.

Strap-On Dildos are great for men and women. Women can use them to peg their male partners or to fuck their female ones. Some strap-ons for women are even strapless and can be held in the vagina instead of strapped around the hips, giving a feedback of stimulation and sensation to the G-spot while they fuck their partner. Check out our Guide to Strap-Ons.

Some strapless strap-ons such as this one even have vibrators above the clit so the one wearing it can feel the thrusting motion inside her while getting stimulation on her clit at the same time.

Men can use strap-ons to add a second cock above or below their own for double-penetration, or to keep going when they’ve gone flaccid.

Strap On Accessories: Strap-On Harnesses are necessary when buying a strap-on dildo. When buying a strap-on harness, make sure it fits the size of your dildo. Most strapon dildos have wide, flat bases (not suction cups) so as to lay flat against your pelvis while thrusting.

Penis Extenders are great options for enhancing the cock by adding different girth, texture, or length to it. It also allows wearers to keep giving their partner pleasure after they’ve ejaculated or if it’s difficult to stay hard due to reasons such as ED (erectile dysfunction) or hormonal changes.

For Female Bodied, FTM, or Trans

Packers can make females transitioning to males (FTM) feel more at home in their body. They can also add a little bit of fun for those who want to experiment with the feeling and weight of a cock for self-exploration or for fantasy alone or with a partner.

Packer Accessories: Incognito Boxer Harness with Hidden O-Ring - ditch the bulky harness and wear an incognito, breathable and comfortable pair of harness boxers that give you the option to pop in a strapon dildo any time you want without fussing over an outfit change!

What Can I Use My Dildo For?

Intercourse is usually the first answer to that question. And it seems simple. However, creative couples can find new uses for the dildo and it would ultimately enhance and reinvent their sex life.

To understand this section, you must understand that the penis is usually associated with having power. The penis is seen as the active part while the vagina is seen as the passive part. In that regard, lesbians who use dildos, may like the power that they feel from having a dildo strapped in using a strap-on harness and thrusting in and out of their partner.  She is then able to use both of her hands to feel, stroke, massage and please her partner while intercourse is still possible.

Men can find uses for a dildo during sex with their partner. If their penis has become flaccid through intercourse, or if they have some type of erectile dysfunction, they can still use a dildo to penetrate their partner and give them pleasure. Because a dildo is a sex toy and will remain erect throughout its shelf life, a male partner can continue to penetrate their partner (and pleasing them) for as long as they and their partner desire.

Pyrex dildos, as explained above, don’t even have to be used as sex toys at all. People could purchase these pieces of handmade glass and have them on display on a shelf or in some type of casing. The colors, designs and shapes of Pyrex dildos create a visual sensation as well as a sexual one.

If you’re a sexual education teacher, realistic dildos can make great demonstration pieces when you want to talk about the male sexual anatomy. Cyberskin has such a realistic look and feel that you can show how male erections work and other topics.

Some dildos allow you to place a vibrating egg inside, thereby turning them into vibrators.  Consumers who get a realistic dildo, especially enjoy that their lifelike penis can also vibrate and give them stimulations during intercourse.

Double ended dildos offer stimulation for two partners at the same time. These dildos are usually longer to accommodate both partners being able to use it and enjoy each other at the same time.

Other Key Notes to Understand

You may notice dildos that are just straight and some have a base on them. Dildos with a base are best for anal sex since the base keeps the dildo from entering all the way up the anus.  Some dildos also have suction-cup bases, so that you can place them on a flat surface and give yourself hands-free penetration without someone else having to be in the room.

There are also dildos that seem to be just too big for anyone sexual use. However, with a proper amount of lube, there have been consumers who have been able to take in large dildos. You may want to use the largest of the large dildos as gag gifts or display pieces, but should you want to attempt to use it for sexual pleasure, be sure to start slowly and use plenty of lubricant.

Dildos can be wonderful sex toys with proper care and use. Whether you’re into big, realistic cocks or simple straightforward appearances, a good dildo can give you plenty of sexual satisfaction.

What Materials Are Dildos Made Of?

When considering which dildo to purchase, it’s good to weigh in the type of material that is used to manufacture the dildo. With today’s concerns over health (even sexual health), it’s always important to know what goes into your dildo, before your dildo goes into you. Here are some of the key materials and their strengths/weaknesses:

Silicone — This is one of the most pricy yet preferred materials for sex toys. Silicone has a longer shelf life than most materials and can be easily cleaned before and after use. All you would have to do is boil the dildo for 5-10 minutes and then wash with an anti-bacterial soap. The material also has the ability to retain heat and cold for long periods of time so it can warm to your body temperature (that way you wouldn’t always have to feel this cold penis going in and out of you). Silicone products are also hypoallergenic and non-porous. However, if you’re a fan of silicone lube, then don’t use a silicone dildo. The reaction would cause your silicone toy to melt.

Rubber — This type of material results in more affordable dildos. However, unlike Silicone, rubber is a porous material and keeping it clean would require a bit more effort. When using rubber toys, you may want to include a condom since rubber toys can’t be disinfected. However, at their price point, they make great dildos for those who are starting to use them.

Cyberskin Dildos — If you want the real thing, then you want a Cyberskin dildo. Cyberskin is a material that allows the dildo to take on the lifelike movement, feel and look of an actual penis. When you look at a Cyberskin dildo, you can see the realistic veins, cock head and (depending on the model) balls. Yet, when you feel one of these dildos, you’ll find that the Cyberskin is flexible enough to follow your movement, so feel free to go wild and enjoy the realistic sensations. Cyberskin dildos are easy to clean (just use anti-bacterial soap and water). However, don’t use silicone lube with one of these dildos as it will have the same reaction as a silicone dildo.

Pyrex — Pyrex is a glass. Now before you freak out about glass, understand that Pyrex is one of the better materials for dildos. Pyrex glass is handmade and can include several special and unique designs. They take on different shapes and styles which means you can get different sensations and pleasures. They are non-porous, easy to clean, phthalate-free and is compatible with any style of lubricant you desire. Also, when you’re done, you can clean it off and place it onto a shelf or desk and people who see Pyrex toys as high class works of art (not knowing that you can do much more with it behind closed doors).

Buyer’s Guide to Dildos

We know it’s exciting to think about all the different kinds of dildos out there, but it can also be a little overwhelming, too! Here are some recommendations on which dildo to buy based on experience level and interest.

Beginner

The Tyler Skintech Realistic 7" Dildo is a great beginner dildo at a low price. Get started with penetrative exploration and enjoy it’s realistic features.

Intermediate

With the Vibrating Thrusting Remote Control Silicone Dildo, users can explore penetration, vibration, and the thrusting feature. Use it’s suction cup feature to keep it in place and control the settings, hands free, while riding it to climax!

Advanced

The Giant Inflatable Solid Core Dildo is a level-up in girth and intensity, and a popular favorite for those who want to test their limits. Grab the lube and stretch your limits.

Partnered: Strap Ons or Pegging

Try this 3-Piece Silicone Strap On Set to get started. Start small and try out different sizes until the perfect fit is found!

To go strapless, try this Vibrating Strapless Strap On for more versatile fun!

Anal

Dildos with handles or wide bases are safest. We recommend the Power Pounder Vibrating and Thrusting Silicone Dildo.

Looking for more ways to explore anal? Check out our Guide to Butt Plugs!

Safety & Cleaning

Silicone:

To Clean: Boil the dildo for 5-10 minutes and then wash with an antibacterial soap.

Safety: Do not use with silicone-based lube. It will melt.

Rubber:

To Clean: Rubber is very porous and the chemical composition of each brand varies. Some rubber products contain phthalates which can be harmful to your health. It’s best to use a condom with these dildos.

Safety: Use a condom, especially when using toys anally and vaginally (or in more than one hole), and remember to switch condoms when changing between holes or users (such as when switching between the anus and vagina, or between one partner and another). *Condoms can not be used with oil-based lubricants.

PVC (polyvinyl chloride) or TPE (thermoplastic rubber aka “skin-safe rubber”):

To Clean: Clean with mild soap and warm water using a washcloth. Dry after each use before storing.

Safety: PVC is a plastic and TPE is a rubber, meaning they are more porous and sometimes contain chemicals harmful for the body, so make sure to buy ones that are labeled non-porous and phthalate-free or use a condom with it as a barrier. This type of material doesn’t stand up well to extreme heat, so store it in a cool, dark place.

Glass:

To Clean: Wash with soap and water. Pyrex glass toys are dishwasher safe.

Safety: Do not expose glass to extreme temperatures. Can be used with any lube.

Steel:

To Clean: Use warm water and soap to get initial dirt and debris off. Soak or boil in a solution of 10% bleach to 90% water for 10 minutes, then place in the dishwasher.

Safety: Steel can withstand more extreme temperatures than glass. If exploring with temperature play, be careful how hot or cold the steel gets before placing it in the body or on skin as it could burn or freeze the delicate tissue. Can be used with any lube.

Vibrating Dildos:

To Clean: First, double check to make sure your vibrating dong is waterproof before cleaning, but most vibrating dildos can be cleaned under running water with a mild soap.

If it has batteries: Take out batteries. Hand wash and wipe down with a cloth using soap and water.

If it’s rechargeable: Do not submerge in water or put in the dishwasher (even if it’s water-resistant). Hand wash and wipe down with a cloth using soap and water.

Safety: Pay attention to the material used and use the compatible lube. Use condoms when sharing with a partner or playing with anal.

Expert Tips & Advice

It’s important to keep toys clean!
That means cleaning them right after use so bacteria doesn’t have a chance to grow on them or in them. At the very least, wash them with mild soap and water and spray them with a disinfecting toy cleaner.

Vaginas in particular have very specific pH levels.
We suggest using unscented, mild soaps on any toy that enters your vagina.

“You gotta keep ‘em separated!”
Dildos generally have a long shelf-life (especially glass, steel and silicone). However, if placing them in the same drawer as your lubes, be careful to not let any silicone lubes spill onto your silicone toys! If silicone lube spills onto a silicone toy, it will melt the toy!

Get yourself a Toy Cleaner.
Even after washing them, it’s best to disinfect them to be extra safe!

New to insertion or penetration?
Pick a dildo that might seem like the right size, and then go one size smaller. Users can always size up as they warm up and find their favorite ways to use it, but when they have a dildo that’s too big -especially when trying anal- it may discourage them from playing with it if it’s uncomfortable.

Lube. Get it, use it, have lots of it.
You can never have too much lube! However, make sure to get the right kind of lube for each toy. If not sure what lubes to get, check out our Guide to Lubes.

When using steel or glass toys, be careful when inserting into orifices.
These toys have no give to them, so any pressure exerted will dig deep into the hole. If putting these in someone’s mouth, be careful that they don’t chip their tooth.

Disclaimer: XR LLC sells these products as novelty toys only and is not responsible for damages due to use or misuse.